(no subject)

[brightlywoven]

shehasathree linked to this article about 'school refusal', and the fairly appalling comments. I thought some of my f-list would find them interesting, particularly this one (which was balm, given some of the comments!):

"Have you ever heard of "drapetomania"? This was the 'disorder' (invented) that caused slaves to run away. 'School refusal' and 'school phobia' are the same. This is a label we apply to children who cannot bear their situation. Help her find a different one. Home education is a legal option."

Comments

[wellinghall.livejournal.com]

I'd seen the story - but in the print edition, so I hadn't seen the comments.

[alitalf.livejournal.com]

I haven't quite deduced what your take on the initial story is.

Mine is that the reason why she won't voluntarily go to school is important. She could be refusing because she doesn't much like it and it is boring, she could be scared out of her wits, or something in between.

I know people who have had good experiences at school, equally there are occasional stories of those bullied to death.

My experience at one school was so awful that I wouldn't want anyone to go through something equivalent. The teachers were malicious and good at concealing it. I have a nagging injury resulting from my time there to keep it fresh in my memory after all these years. That inevitable affects the angle from which I see this story.

I'm not sure what aspect of the comments is appalling? They were quite diverse, obviously from people whose experiences of school had been very different, but several advocate trying to find out what the reason is before deciding on action, which seems to me to be rational.

I know someone who was scared rigid at her school, not due to deliberate malice on anyone's part, but the effect was much the same as if there had been. At a different school she is now happy and doing well, not afraid at all.

[dr-biscuit.livejournal.com]

Yes, I haven't been clear on what I actually think here.

I think school can be absolutely awful, and it's really rather amazing that we survive it. I suffered through it, but came out more or less OK.

What makes me angry is the normalisation of school, and of the awfulness that goes along with it. This generally comes under the headings of
1. That's just life and you have to put up with it
or
2. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

The same rationale would apply to having a daily kick in the head. Sure, it's not fun, but it's character building, right?

Even worse is when health professionals collude to further normalise suffering. There is supposed to be a principle underlying any mental illness diagnosis that you can't label an illness behaviour that is simply a failure to fit in with societal norms. We have a norm that for 13 years our children will attend an institution in which they will probably be bullied, in which they will have to fit in with mind numbing routine. We have a norm that we tell them this is for her benefit.

My uncle, who home schools my cousin, believes many of these arguments are made to allay the guilt of parents who send their children to school, knowing it kind of sucks. I tend to agree.

So, basically, I'm appalled that this girl is labelled as having a mental illness, when her behaviour can be construed as completely rational. I was angered by the early comments along the lines of 'just make her go', and the equally unhelpful 'just don't get an education'. That's why I picked out the comment above as a calm and rational response to the situation.

[emily-shore.livejournal.com]

My uncle, who home schools my cousin, believes many of these arguments are made to allay the guilt of parents who send their children to school, knowing it kind of sucks. I tend to agree.

Yes, yes, yes. I couldn't have said it better.

[dr-biscuit.livejournal.com]

These are words that may come back to bite me should I procreate! In fact, it's one of the things that makes me very unsure about parenthood. See, I'm quite certain I'd be unhappy if I stopped paid work for an extended period of time (say, more than a year), but I do think that childcare/school etc can be pretty awful. The best compromise I can imagine is 2 parents negotiating some part time arrangement, and having some external child caring, plus different days with parents. Who knows.

[cealdis.livejournal.com]

Gah. Twitch. Gah.

Gah.

I really don't know where to begin with that first response. Actually, I really don't know where to begin with even the phrasing behind the problem.

I feel sorry for the girl.

[dr-biscuit.livejournal.com]

Sorry, didn't mean to make you twitch!